Musings

I hate when I start to ponder my "life". It's usually after I see a romantic movie or a movie where the protagonist follows their dream. I also start to think about where I'm at in life after looking at old pictures. Old pictures make me think about the person I use to be and the person I thought I would be back then. I use to be fun. I'm not that fun anymore. I feel old a lot of the time or I'm just lazy. I really like sitting at home watching t.v. or reading. Going out and socializing feels like work. The old pictures also remind me that I use to have more friends. I had a social group.
Courtney, my oldest and one of the best friends I've ever had, knows what I'm talking about. When we were 18 were cool, fun, and had tons of fun. We went out almost every night. We had a social group. We had boys who thought we were cute. It was our first taste of freedome...kind of. I really don't know why we were unable to continue that kind of social life once we left the desert and continued to move on with our lives. We talk a lot about the "good ol' times". It's comforting that she's still in my life. She knows me better than anyone. We don't get to see each other often which I often wish was not so.
I like to think that when I'm finished with my credential and MAED that my life will improve. Once I have a full time teaching job I can quit my two part time jobs. They suck ass and I'm just NOT a fan of customers. If I have the schedule that I want then I can start to do more fun things. I could do fun things now I guess but like I said, I'm lazy and the little time I have to myself I'd rather spend on the couch. That sounds so bad but I'm addicted to t.v. I just like to think that when all of this "learnin" is over my life will magically transform into the exciting, social entity that it was when I was younger.