Why Can't Holidays be Skipped?

Thanksgiving is in a week and I'm really not into it this year. I don't feel like being around a lot of people. I don't feel like answering the incessant questions about my life. I don't feel like seeing my poor grandfather looking so old and frail. I don't feel like driving to San Diego.

You may ask "why can't you skip thanksgiving Alison?" Simply put, my mother would never let it go. She has perfected the ability to make you feel bad about your decision if it doesn't mesh with what she thinks is the right way. I've become more immune to her guilt trips. I just really don't want to be "on" for the weekend. I wonder if I'll ever be "old enough" to not participate in family functions/holidays. I'm 28 and it's not ok for me to miss Thanksgiving? Pssshhh.

Is it right to go to a family function just because OTHER people would be mad, upset, feel bad that you weren't there? I'm not saying that self centered is the way to be but how often do we have to do something we dont want to do for the benefit of someone else? I still go to church on Easter and Christmas even though I don't believe in organized religion and loathe being there mostly because I resent my parents for guilting me into it. I mean I seriously sit there in church pissed off and resentful. If I haven't already ticked God off, then each Christmas Eve and Easter Sunday is probably doing the job.

Let's forget for a minute that Thanksgiving is around the corner and concentrate on the fact that we have about a month to recover before Christmas pummels us with good cheer. I love Christmas time. I like the music, I LOVE the presents, I like the tree and decorations. I just get tired of feeling like the time spent with family is "work". It's not fun. I avoid talking to most people and watch t.v. with my sister in another room with the door closed. I've been utilizing that move since I was a little kid. SAD. What's even more sad is the fact that if all of my family members were replaced with friends I would have a fantastic time. I wouldn't feel like I had to be "on", ready to perform the role of mature, talkative, having a jolly good time Alison. I'll try to check in closer to Thanksgiving and we can find out if my attitude has changed at all. We shall see.....